For 60 minutes, your focus is solely on Les Kurkendaal-Barrett. The curtains behind him are black. There are no props but his one wood chair with steel arms and legs. He himself is even dressed in all black! But as soon as he opens his mouth you must pay attention. He talks fast as takes you on his wild, eye-opening trip through Moscow.

Les was nervous entering Moscow. He knew being Black and gay was a deadly combination there. But he was ready for the challenge. Having just gotten out of a 13-year relationship where there was no adventure, he was ready to take the risk.

His first experience of impoliteness came at customs. He describes a stoic icy blonde woman going over his passport again and again. Let me mention, Les does not speak or understand Russian. At all. As the dirty looks fly back and forth, he texts the reason he is in Moscow, his new boyfriend John. John is there working and Les is visiting. No answer.

Les reaches John fuming, which we can all understand, and they head to the hotel. As he walks the streets, he notices people are looking at him from all angles. Some stares are mean, others are smiling and waving. Pretty much, if you are Black in Moscow, they know you are American, and you must be a rapper or basketball player. This is where Les begins his stardom. Throughout his trip, Moscow residents randomly walk up to him and ask to take a picture of him. Some even snap it without his permission.

As the trip continues, Les meets John’s friends, including John’s ex-boyfriend. But there are no fights or eye gouges here. Just enlightening conversations. The ex is happily in a new relationship. They are clearly just friends. After dinner, they go to John’s ex-boyfriend’s home and Les pops the question, “What is it like to be gay living in Moscow?” The ex answers, “It’s okay, as long as no one knows. If no one knows, you can live a great life.”

Les sat with this answer overnight, as I did myself. This isn’t okay. I’m not saying Cincinnati alone is flat-out accepting it, embracing it, encouraging it, but if you are gay here you don’t have to hide it! You have the freedom to love who you love and enjoy that person out in the open. Not hidden.

The next night, Les and John meet up with John’s friend Ghea. At dinner, Ghea talks about living the single life and not dating anyone. After dinner, Ghea drives John and Les to a Russian Speak Easy Gay Bar. It is a large gothic building, and no lights what so ever. They walk up five flights of stairs in complete darkness. When they reach the top, a door opens, and everyone is dancing to Madonna.

Les and John have the time of their life. At 4 a.m. they are ready to say their goodbyes and take a cab home. Ghea grabs them and find a friend of his to take them home. He warns them to never take a cab from a gay bar. The cab driver would beat them and steal from them, and they wouldn’t receive any help from the police.

Grateful for the advice, Les asks Ghea who is he staying with and he says his boyfriend. Confused, Les turns to John and says, “I thought Ghea said he was single?” John replies, “He only said that because he was out in public. He didn’t want anyone to overhear that he was dating, especially dating a man. Someone might tell his job and then he will be out of work.”

At this point I was angry. So not only can they not be themselves with who they love in public, but they also cannot talk about it casually or freely at dinner. Growing up, yes I have hidden a boyfriend or two from my parents, but I knew I would never be disowned, lose my job or possibly lose my life by being with him.

The next night, Les and John go to another hidden gay bar and enjoy a drag show. The worst drag show he says, but the best. Because if these drag queens are caught, they can go to prison. Les continues to talk about the trip and its happy ending.

Honestly, I could not get past the fact that gay men and women in Russia are risking their lives to literally love and be with their soulmate. That is heart-wrenching to me. These men and women living in Moscow are braver than I ever could be. I can’t imagine the hurt they must go through. But somehow, they are accepting the risks and making it work for them. This story really made me appreciate the freedom I have in who I choose to love here, and the many ways I can openly show my passion. This is something none of us should take for granted.

Marissa Staples is a Cincinnati published author and writer for The Voice of Black Cincinnati. She developed her love of arts from her mother, Kandi. Being a native of Cincinnati, she loves to travel. If she is not traveling, you can find her reading, writing, volunteering or drinking wine. Wine always brings smiles, friends and creative dialogue.